I cannot feel, see, hear, or smell it, and yet I know I am somehow wrapped in it. It is a precious gift, which gives me so many opportunities. Yet, it is scary because the older I get, the more it seems to accelerate. I know, I only have a limited amount of it. However, I spent a lot of it procrastinating and waiting. Why? Continue reading “Why is time passing by so fast and how can I deal with it better?”
There was darkness all around me. It embraced me like a coat, but instead of giving me warmth, it got colder the tighter it was to my body. How did I get there? I had no idea. I was all alone. There was no sound, there was just nothing. It felt as if someone took my eyesight. I was wandering around, trying to find the exit. I could not. I was walking a circle. I sat down, trying to breathe, trying to focus. There were these memories from a past that felt like another lifetime. I thought of colors, brightness and something that I could not remember when I felt it the last time. The darkness made me see more clearly after a while. Something was taken away from me, something that was way more important than my eyesight, and I wanted it back. My greatest fear was that I forgot I ever had this feeling, that I forgot it really existed, and was no fairytale. I cannot remember the last time I had it, but I still remember that I liked it, and I did not want to forget how happiness felt like. Continue reading “The lost feeling”
What if everything changes in one brief moment? Dreams and hopes, like having a child, vanish, becoming impossible. When there are only a few days left, and the day of letting go comes closer. After only this one moment, nothing is what it used to be.
Brittany Maynard was only 29 years old. Her story went viral on the internet very quickly. She gave interviews, talked about something no one wants to talk about. She was diagnosed with brain cancer in January 2014. The doctors only gave her a few more months to live. Brittany decided to enjoy her last days with her loving family, her husband and her best friend.
She was given a terminal diagnosis. There was no cure, no life saving measures available. She got seizures more and more often which caused that she was unable to speak. She felt that she was getting sicker and that there was no way to stop the tumor. So she moved with her family from her home state California to Oregon. One of five states within the US that authorize death with dignity. Last weekend Brittany Maynard passed away.
Not only that Brittany had to suffer. How hard must it be for her parents, husband and friends to go through this? It’s hard to let go, but this is not like a kid leaving the parents’ house for college. It can’t be compared to that. After New Years Eve she got the diagnosis and sure everyone hoped it was the wrong X-ray. Where did all the years go she was supposed to have?
Brittany received a Masters in Education, she traveled a lot, and was a regular volunteer at a local animal rescue organization. Her videos were watched by millions of people. Brittany wanted that all terminally ill Americans have the option to die with dignity. That was the reason she made the videos and talked about her cancer.
She didn’t want to suffer, she wanted to die peacefully. Some might say that only the Lord can decide when we go, others might think that everyone should live as long as possible. But is it still a real life when someone is in so much pain all the time? This is definitely something no one wants to talk about, but Brittany Maynard also showed that it can happen to everyone, at any time and age.
Her story reminds me of how limited our time on earth is. I thank her for having this incredible strength to talk about her cancer. That she told us how she felt. We all know that we will die one day, but how must it be like when you know when it’s gonna happen and that you only have a few days left to live? How hard must it be to take such a decision? I think it is worth to spread her word.
This can not be compared to a patient like on Grey’s Anatomy. This is not a TV show, this is the real life. And there might be a movie one day inspired by Brittany’s story to reach even more people and let them think about life more intensively. A life lived to its fullest. A smart and brave young woman taking the hardest decision of her life. A story of letting go. A story about life.
“It is people who pause to appreciate life and give thanks who are happiest. If we change our thoughts, we change our world! Love and peace to you all.” – Brittany Maynard
Please also have a look at The Brittany Maynard Fund for more information and her videos to watch.
Every day I have to make decisions: what do I wear? What will I have for breakfast? By having so many decisions all day, it’s really hard to choose. I remember when I was a kid and my Mom asked me to buy milk, I bought milk. Nowadays you can’t ask your kid doing that. If you have a daughter she will probably buy a bottle when there is a cute animal on it or something pinky. A little boy would probably grab the first he finds. But okay that might be stereotyping.
Anyway, the point is: not only kids are unable to cope these situations sometimes. It’s like you see 20 different bottles or milk packets. You once started to drink one and then you just stick with it. Some make their decisions depending on their taste, some on the product’s price, or when a friend or family member suggests it. But everyone has to take decisions, not only which milk to choose.
Sure we are lucky to even have this ‘problem’. Too much of everything can cause some stress too. But do we want that? Do we need that? And has anybody ever asked us if we wanna have the choice? Do we have the choice to choose or are we all simply forced to have a choice?