Category: Inspired by Jim Parsons

Please let me be happy too

Please let me be happy too

Imagine you see two people holding hands. Beautiful, isn’t it? Imagine they would look at each other intensively, smile and kiss. What do you think? Is this love?

Couple silhouette

Now imagine one of them was you. The other one was your partner, your soul mate, your best friend.

For simplicity, I refer to a male partner here. When you are into girls, just replace the pronouns in your head accordingly.

Imagine there is just you and him. How do you feel? Happy? Fulfilled? Do you feel like you are the luckiest person on the entire planet? You want to share this awesome news. You found love, and he loves you back. Winning the lottery is nothing compared to finding true love. You want to go to the movies with him, get to know him better at dinner, and you want to show everyone how happy you are. You cannot believe that you are sweeping off your feet. Before you met him, you did not even know that you could feel this way.

Now imagine someone you have never met before comes to you, telling you that you were making a huge mistake. He is telling you, your partner was wrong for you. What do you say? “What makes you think that? Does he hurt me? You know neither him nor me. And besides, it is none of your business.”

He might say he feels offended by your behavior. Will you tell him, that you are offended by his? He continues to say that you are wrong, that what you feel is not real, that this is no true love. You ask: “Do you want me to judge you for how you love? Do you want me to tell you how you can be happy? I dare to assume, you do not.”

Cats do not know any gender differences We make the differences between man and woman easy to notice. Cats and other animals don’t show their gender obviously.

Imagine you live in a beautiful house, and other people keep trying to come in, trying to drag you out. “You live in the wrong house”, they say. “But this is my home”, you answer. “This is where I am happy. This is my place to be. I am not hurting anyone by living here.” However, the other people are more than just one person, so they manage sooner or later that you leave. You live in another house now, but you miss your home. Home is where your heart is. Have you ever heard that? I am here, but my heart is over there. It is still in the other house.

Home is not a building. It is a feeling.

Why do people think they know me better than I know myself? Why do they keep telling me what is the only way to be happy, how I can be happy? We are all different. Imagine a world full of yous. There was no room for your partner. He would not exist in this world, because he is not you. Would you be happy? Some like dogs, and some like cats. Some prefer the beach and some the forest. Some love sunshine, and some the rain. There is nothing wrong loving any of these.

The man I love probably does not make you happy. But what if I would tell you, that you are loving wrong? Do you want to hear that? And do not say that it is different. Do you think you are better than me? You pretend to be interested in my happiness, when you are only interested in your own. I might be the tiny black spot that sticks out on your white paper of harmony. When you love cooking, do it. When you love singing, do it. When you love sports, go for it. Do what makes you happy. I might like different things, but that does not make me a bad person.

I hope we agree that when two people holding hands, looking at each other, smiling, and kissing, that this is love. You do not need any further details, do you? One might be white, and the other black. One might be a Jew, and the other a Christian. Maybe it was two men, or two women, or a man and a woman. Details seem to divide us, but on the inside, we are all the same. Look at these x-rays. You can say it is a human being. That is all that matters.

Being a human is the only info that matters Is this a man or a woman? Does the gender make a difference?

Yes, I do love a man. Even if I was a man or said I loved a woman, this should not make any difference. Do you want me to become a man? Should he become a woman? Would that make you feel better? Would that make you happy? Do not pretend to know me. Love equally also means that I love myself as well. It can be hard sometimes listening to the one voice within me, when too many others on the outside make such a noise. What matters is the only voice that actually knows me. I listen to my heart. And guess what: it knows what makes me happy. Happiness is a feeling. You do not learn it. You feel it. How can anyone think I do not deserve happiness? Why can other people be happy, but not me?

The other people have more voices than my heart, as I only have one, but it’s the only one that truly counts. How can it make others happy, if I was with someone they want me to be? Have you ever experienced love? Do you know how it feels? Or have you just learned the definition? I am not you, and you are not me. I do not know what makes you happy. You do not know what makes me happy. Why can you not be happy for me?

When someone tries to tell you that you are loving wrong, tell them the only wrong way to do is to not love at all. Tell this person: I know we are different. Unlike you, I would never tell anyone how to love. You think it makes you happy, when you would see me with someone else, but you do not. You do not care. You have focused on the details that you have learned. My definition is to follow my heart. I love being happy, and I do not allow you, a random stranger, to take this feeling away from me. Stealing is bad. Judging is too – unless you work and are in a court while judging.

Your heart is important! Listen and follow it! What matters is what’s inside (you:) your heart!

I love myself. And I allow myself to love who makes me happy, not who others think make me happy. He is my heart, he is my home, he is my happy place. I do not know you, but I know two things: you learned about love and follow that definition like it was a math equation with only one right solution. You like different things than I do, but on the inside we are the same. I dare to say that you want to be loved; truly, madly, deeply. I dare to say you want to be happy. Please let me be happy, too.

Celebrating 12 years Big Bang Theory – will there be a gaming app soon?

Celebrating 12 years Big Bang Theory – will there be a gaming app soon?

This week, the final season premiere of the Big Bang Theory aired on CBS, followed by a second new episode on Thursday. This was the right occasion for me to finally publish my idea on how to celebrate the successful comedy series. It combines the wish from fans who want more people to attend a live taping, have an extended episode, some gaming fun, some Comic Con like parts, and much more.

Over the years, I have not only written several posts about the hit comedy, but also shared why this particular show changed my life. It helped me out of the darkest time, when I thought my life had no purpose. It brought me something back of which I had almost forgotten how it felt: laughing. I could see me again. I felt so lost after finishing school, and kind of overwhelmed by the working world for which I did not feel prepared. However, the show inspired me to many things, telling stories which I loved but stopped when I started working, being creative again which I stopped at the same time and being ok being me, which I stopped as well. I know I am different, but thanks to the show, I found others who feel similar. Big Bang connects us, so we all feel less alone.

Last Monday I shared an idea, which I had for years. Now it seemed appropriate to share it. I struggled a lot at first. Who cares about what I think? There are people who are in charge for everything the show related and they will find the right way to finish it. I don’t question this. The writers are as outstanding as the cast. Certainly, I have my thoughts of how it will end and also hope for a reference to the pilot, just to round things up, but it is the writers’ job and not mine to finish telling the stories of these characters.

ShamyonMarsTitleNow back to my idea: I heard many people wishing to attend a live taping. Many could not make it because they could either not travel to LA or they were not fast enough getting tickets. Others wished there was an extended episode, like a movie. So I was thinking about all of these wishes, and well, my brain always works best when I can mix things up, and so I came up with this.

Simply move the show to a bigger stage, like at a theater. In my video, I even thought about a stadium, but it could also be a place like the Dolby Theater. Making a whole event with a Big Bang shop that sells Big Bang comic books – maybe even some fan art, as I see so many drawings, bracelets, dolls, etc. made by fans, which is incredible. The show inspires fans to be creative in so many ways. And there should be a place where fans can play “Shamy on Mars”.

When Jim Parsons firstly talked about his idea for “Young Sheldon” and that this seemed to be obvious and wondered why no one already came up with this, I was thinking the same about this gaming app. I mean, fans love Sheldon and Amy, and probably they love playing games on their phones. So, there could a way they can create their own future of their favorite TV couple.

I would really love seeing the show move to a bigger stage, at least for the big final. Maybe they even do a halftime show – but call it intermission performance or something. I think that many fans would love even more to be at the final live taping. A theater offers more seats than Warner Bros studio 25. However, what’s with those who cannot travel? A live stream could be placed on YouTube, or it streams at least across the US and Canada, as I have no knowledge about the rights issues – different countries, different regulations, that is all I know.

Doing it that way would offer more people the chance to attend a taping. They can enjoy the show live as a play, either at the theater or on a device of their choice. No one will know anything beforehand. It will be completely new for everyone when the fans watch it.

A play would be an extended episode. It is on a stage, just like Big Bang, and I think this would fit better to the show than a movie. I even have ideas for that intermission, like Wil Wheaton as Prof Proton meets… Well, I am not going to reveal everything yet. Just again, getting geeky and mixing several things up, creating something never before seen. The show is outstanding, and that is why it should end, not only in theory, with a Big Bang.

Please let me know in the comments what you think of my ideas. Also feel free to share. Thank you.

Click here for the full video to watch my idea for the live event.


More love and understanding — How the Boys in the Band made me see myself more clearly

More love and understanding — How the Boys in the Band made me see myself more clearly

Have you ever felt different? I definitely have. When I was a teenager, I listened to my friends. I figured out what they loved, only to be able to tell them I’d love the same. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be part of a group. I learned very quickly that whenever I was alone, I became a target. I felt so vulnerable that I preferred to hide. No one saw me, and for some reason, I felt protected around the other guys. However, I thought they were unable to love me for who I really was. I stayed in my little shell. I was 19 when I felt like my existence would not matter. It took me four more years to realize that the issue was not the others.

Continue reading “More love and understanding — How the Boys in the Band made me see myself more clearly”

The lost feeling

The lost feeling

There was darkness all around me. It embraced me like a coat, but instead of giving me warmth, it got colder the tighter it was to my body. How did I get there? I had no idea. I was all alone. There was no sound, there was just nothing. It felt as if someone took my eyesight. I was wandering around, trying to find the exit. I could not. I was walking a circle. I sat down, trying to breathe, trying to focus. There were these memories from a past that felt like another lifetime. I thought of colors, brightness and something that I could not remember when I felt it the last time. The darkness made me see more clearly after a while. Something was taken away from me, something that was way more important than my eyesight, and I wanted it back. My greatest fear was that I forgot I ever had this feeling, that I forgot it really existed, and was no fairytale. I cannot remember the last time I had it, but I still remember that I liked it, and I did not want to forget how happiness felt like. Continue reading “The lost feeling”