You will never guess what brought back my joy to write

Have you ever struggled in your life? Have you ever felt lost? Have you ever felt like everything was just falling apart, and you felt like losing ground? I have been there. I did not see any future for myself. My life changed, and even though I was prepared, I was not really. I wanted to be. I saw that nobody else had a problem with the same situation at all. This made me feel even more miserable.

I had no joy at work or anywhere. All my ambition and enthusiam were gone. It seemed that a part of me just died. I had no perspective. I had no clue how my future would be like. Did I even have one? I talked to my Grandma who only told me I was too young to feel this way. I never talked about it again. Instead, I acted, as I was okay. I did not want to bother anyone with something that was only a stupid feeling.

I felt ashamed of myself.
I felt ashamed of myself.

Then, one day my coworker started talking about a character on a TV show. She did not stop talking about him and his quirks. My coworker and I were very different. The only other show we both watched was Desperate Housewives. However, her passion while telling me about this character and the show made me curious and, shortly after, I watched one episode. I honestly did not like it at first. At least I thought that. A few days later, she waited for me in front of the office building and gave me her first season DVD. She said, “Watch it and like it.” And I did, and I did.

For some reason I did not understand back then, I instantly felt like I finally had something that I wanted, without me knowing that I wanted it. It was like something in me came back. I was curious and excited again. I was looking forward to something again. I have not felt like that in a long time. The show also brought something else back, which I had almost forgot how it felt like: laughing.

I was happy again.

A few weeks later, I realized why I thought I did not like the first episode I saw. I could relate so much to the female character, who felt as a complete failure in that particular episode. Then she became addicted to something, a computer game, that she never thought could like. It was because of her neighbor who she also never thought could like some day. He seemed to be the complete opposite of her. I felt like that girl, though my neighbor, who seemed to be different in so many ways from me, was actually my former coworker. The show had the same impact on me as the game on that female character. Well, maybe not exactly the same.

Over the years, I figured out that at some point, certain people came like out of nowhere and were expanding in my life. Just like the female character and her neighbors who became more and more important to each other. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe years, it felt these persons had always been part of my life, even though I knew they were not. This show made me realize why I felt like I died in some way. I stopped writing. I stopped telling stories, and by that, I stopped being entirely me. The characters on the show are grownups but still love to play and be goofy. As a kid, I loved listening to my friends, mixing everything I knew they liked and making a story out of that. There was no greater challenge before I went to sleep, and no greater joy than looking into their eyes while they were listening to my creation.

I love telling stories.

When I started working at my first job, I felt exhausted every day. It was so different than school. Everyone around me said I should not waste my time on any creativity, as this will never get me any decent income. Well, I started writing again after I had some kind of epiphany because of that show. It is part of my current job, even though Marketing is a different way of creative writing or storytelling. That is what I do at home, here on my WordPress page, and maybe one day, I can live my dream to the fullest. I want to create characters people can identify, stories that are more than tales. I wrote my first book this year, inspired by the actor who played the neighbor, and my first musical. I started writing book number two, have already ideas for number three and a play.

Six years ago, I published something I wrote back then. Now I want to re-share it as part one of my Christmas present to you. In this story, I let the actors of that show think of the previous season, which was number five back then. This was the first one I saw when it was new to everyone, so it will always be special to me. I wanted to put in this little story, what I have learned from that season. Over the years I have learned some more, but, spoiler alert, that will be part two of the present, coming next week.

Click here to open the PDF or here to get to read my story on Movellas, which is a page for aspiring writers. For some reason, I have not used it in the last six years…

Please note: As some of you know I am not an English native speaker, and I wrote this six years ago. I re-read it recently, and there are some grammar mistakes and literal translations like laser sword, which is the German “Lichtschwert” meaning lightsaber. I did not want to change anything, and just re-share how I published it on my former blog. Hope you enjoy reading it anyway. I would love to read your feedback – and if you have any questions, let us talk about it.


Thank you for reading.

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Published by Sanny Spear

I'm a writer with a bachelor's degree in PR, Communication and Media Management. I love creating my own stories, and sharing my thoughts on my Wordpress. Writing is a continuous journey, which I enjoy as much as traveling, seeing different places and getting in touch with people all over the world.

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