How to become more confident around people – the difference between social media and real life

How to become more confident around people – the difference between social media and real life

Social media makes lots of things easier. One of them is the way to communicate with strangers. You get in touch with people who live miles away from you. Maybe so far away that you only had a chance to meet them accidentally on a trip. But how likely is it, that you can get so close to someone, or know what he likes, before you talked to a person? On social media like Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, or here on WordPress, people are more plain with others. They show who they are, what they love, what they think. It’s easier talking to a stranger online than offline. But how can people transfer this confidence to real life?

In reality, things are different than online. When you see a guy who you think is handsome, would you go over and say “I like you”? Some might be this confident but to most girls, it’s easier to hit the like button on Instagram if they saw the guy on a photo. The truth is, on Instagram people want likes, in real life no one expects to be liked by a stranger who just walked by. But nonetheless, I love when someone says something nice to me and we start having a chat on the street, at a store, or on the train. Maybe many people feel the same, insecure if talking to someone because not wanting to annoy him, but happy when he comes over to talk.

Are the users of social media more social?

These days people love to interact with other people indirectly. This is what social media is about. You don’t look into someone’s eyes, but on a screen. You are talking to a person, but with the help of a device. Phones and computers were created to make our lives easier. I think we all love the diversity on the web, to easily find places and people we like – thanks Google. Real life seems to be more complicated, or do we get more and more used to “easy” media world and drift away from reality? Do we forget how to enjoy real life?

Chatting with the help of a device can be fun, but nothing is better than talking to someone in person.

One thing did not change: love. Well, everyone wants to be loved, but these days it seems to be less in the common sense. It’s more about collecting followers and likes on several social media platforms. Who cares what your parents think of you, your family or even yourself? What matters are numbers, whether you like maths or not. That’s what many guys online seem to think. But why do so many want to achieve high amounts, as if they want to beat the highscore in a game? Certainly everyone wants to be seen. If I wanted no one to read this, I wouldn’t have published it. But does it make me less of a person not having hundreds of followers or likes?

In real life no one wants to be followed. In real life you want a hug. You like a compliment, even more by someone you love and care about. I love making friends online. And getting the chance to turn them from online friends to offline friends. Social media helped me to get in touch with people easier. You might read in my last post that I am not that extrovert that I can simply walk over to somebody for a chitchat. On social media I feel more comfortable talking to someone about the picture she posted or something she wrote on Twitter or WordPress. It’s her action, and she might be happy to receive reactions, knowing that someone cares, likes her thoughts, shares her opinion.

Life is better when shared, not primarily online.

The most important thing to become more confident is pretty simple: curiosity. Be interested in others. Don’t live in your own bubble. Not only online, people want to hear when you like what they wear, or that you love the dog they go for a walk with. Everyone has interests, and shows them. Just differently than online. So maybe join a book club if you love reading, or do your favorite sport with a group of people. You’ll find persons having the same interests as you, and when you know what to talk about, it’s as easy as on social media. And you don’t even need a charger after you chatted for hours.

When you look closely at other people, and focus less on a screen, you’ll notice real life is not that complicated. You can’t google a person, but you can find her anyway. Be interested in others. The more you know, the more topics you have to talk about. The more secure you feel, and that makes you confident. Chat with people, try to understand their points of view if they think differently about something. Life is not only black and white. It’s an ongoing learning process, a steady change. Be curious.

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2 thoughts on “How to become more confident around people – the difference between social media and real life

  1. Hi Sanny! Great post. It is very thoughtful and heartfelt. I love that you are turning your online friendships into real life friendships! I also find that simply chatting with another person often leads to discovering surprising commonalities. Did you know that scientists are finding that eye-contact and face-to-face interaction is necessary to achieve higher levels of connection (measured in brainwaves and levels of different neurotransmitters). Texting or even talking over the phone don’t trigger the same biologic and neurologic changes. I love your line, “In real life no one wants to be followed. In real life you want a hug.” That’s definitely what it’s all about. ❤️

    1. Chatting with others gives me different points of view. I also have learned a lot from other people, and I really love that. Very interesting what you wrote. Science doesn’t lie. I also prefer to see somebody in person. It’s simply more personal. I can look into somebody’s eyes, I can see her reaction, body language. In a chat I can only read words. Which is a great start to get to know somebody, but there’s nothing better than a “real” conversation.

      Thanks for your comment. 😊

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